ES' SALAM 3LIKOM
YOUR ESSAY IS SO NICE
BUT I THINK THAT YOU MISSED TO THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF IT
YOUR START WAS RIGHT . BECAUSE IT IS A GENERAL INFORMATION ABOUT THE ESSAY
I THINK AFTER "responsible leaders" YOU SHOULD PUT FULL STOP TO START THE 2 SENTENCE
IN THE INTRODUCTION YOU SHOULD WRITE 3 SENTENCES . AND IN THE THIRD SENTENCE YOU HAVE TO START WITH " I'm going to write an essay about .... "
AND IN THE CONCLUSION YOU SHOULD START WITH FOR EXAMPLE " to sum up , OR all in all .... " AND THAN YOU CAN WRITE IT
i don't know .. that's what the MISS told us